


love me dead

by legalityQueen



Category: New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Black Romance, Diary/Journal, Fluff and Angst, Hate Romance, Love/Hate, M/M, kismesitude
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-10
Updated: 2018-12-10
Packaged: 2019-09-15 18:19:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,612
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16938294
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/legalityQueen/pseuds/legalityQueen
Summary: momota hates ouma. so much.so much that he loves him.





	love me dead

**————————————— 𝚍𝚊𝚢 𝚜𝚒𝚡**

kokichi ouma is an excellent liar. 

or, an awful one, the way i see it. his lies are toxic, wrapping like vines around anyone who hears them and slowly squeezing until you can’t breathe anymore. where was this analogy going? anyways, he just fucking sucks, and that’s all the luminary of the stars needs to know. lying just isn’t right. 

he’s absolutely revolting, and an ugly little twerp. i fucking hate his superiority complex, and the way he totes around calling himself a leader, and the smugass look on his face when he brags about himself. just being around him makes me want to gag. honestly, i’d do everyone here a favor if i killed him! 

and it would be so easy too. he’s weak. i’m much stronger than him. i could even just choke him to death, squeezing his air flow just a tight as his lies do to everyone else. but i don’t do it. because i’m a good person. that’s the difference between ouma and me. he’s just an evil dipshit and i do what’s right. 

**——————————— 𝚍𝚊𝚢 𝚏𝚘𝚞𝚛𝚝𝚎𝚎𝚗**

he’s awful. he’s awful! i can’t believe this guy. he parades around making fun of death like it’s no big deal, then pretends he cares. what a prick. 

punching him felt real good, let me tell ya. the feeling of his jaw cracking under my knuckles was probably the best thing i’ve felt since getting trapped in this hellhole. seeing him put in his place was amazing.   
~~even if i did feel a little bit guilty afterwards.~~

i wish he’d learn that he’s not the center of the universe. he drives me insane, that guy. awful! shuichi and maki roll tease me for “always thinking about him.” as if! i think about him the normal amount that someone thinks about a person they hate. it’s not unnatural. 

gonna sleep now. hopefully i don’t have a nightmare about that douchebag again. 

**——————————— 𝚍𝚊𝚢 𝚝𝚠𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚢**

i confronted him today. he happened to be hanging around in the casino for some reason, right as i was going to blow of some steam. taking my anger out on him seemed much more appealing. 

i told him i hated him. 

he just smiled back, did his awful little laugh, and said, “i hate you too!” i hate you too! of course he’d say something snide like that. he leaned in, brushing my face with his hand, looking into my eyes, and whispered something. i don’t remember what it was. must’ve slipped my memory. he looked ugly. 

i think he’s joking. but i really do hate him. 

**————————— 𝚍𝚊𝚢 𝚝𝚠𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚢-𝚘𝚗𝚎**

oh, so he thinks this is some game now, does he? he announced our meeting to everyone at breakfast today. of course. of course he’d make a fool out of me. 

all i wanted to do was let him know how awful he was. so i stood up, right there in the dining hall, and yelled. i don’t even remember what i said. just a stream of words, boiling and directed right at him. he fucking deserved it! i was expecting an applause when i finished, but all i got was some laughter and others giving shy looks away from me. 

they treat me like i’m crazy, but i’m not! i really just despise this guy. i mean, who wouldn’t? he only causes trouble for us, and he looks hideous, and he’s weak, and a liar, and has probably killed at /least/ a hundred people. he just has that air about him, ykno?

that evening, iruma made a joke and asked if i was gay. if i was pining for ouma. i gave her a quick “fuck no!” before i felt myself growing angry and my face get hot. so i stormed off to my room, like anyone in my situation would. 

i hate him. why is that so hard to understand?

**————————— 𝚍𝚊𝚢 𝚝𝚠𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚢-𝚝𝚠𝚘**

jesus christ, i can’t catch a break, can i? those fuckwads thought it would be funny to trap the two of us in hoshi’s lab. what the fuck happened to respect for the deceased? 

it only took the shit 60 seconds to handcuff me. he left me that way for most of the day. obviously he let me out, or else i wouldn’t be writing this, but still. 

all day, he interrogated me, insulted me, poked and prodded at whatever he wanted. fucking asshole. he tried so hard to get me to cry, or something. even talked about my grandparents. 

he said i’d never get to space now. 

that was it. i yelled at him, felt my body temperature raising, and of course. he just laughed. walked up close, cupped my face in his cold hand again, and looked me in the eyes like he did a few days ago. 

”so angry, aren’t you momo-chan? i’d hate to know i was the one who made my beloved upset,” pouting. 

i still can’t figure out what that meant. why would he call me his beloved? he’s a weirdo, that’s all i know. beloved. it was so mocking, too. 

**———————— 𝚍𝚊𝚢 𝚝𝚠𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚢-𝚝𝚑𝚛𝚎𝚎**

i dreamt about him. again. it was a mess of nishishis and “i hate you”s. too confusing for me to understand. 

all i know is he’s awful. 

**————————— 𝚍𝚊𝚢 𝚝𝚠𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚢-𝚏𝚘𝚞𝚛**

they finally let us out of there last night. but i feel like it was a blur. i woke up laying next to ouma in my dorm bed. next to HIM! i don’t know what the fuck happened. i tried to remember, but seriously can’t. maybe i passed out?

i felt...warm, when i woke up. but he’s disgusting! seeing his face when he’s asleep is so strange. he seems peaceful and calm; totally unlike the shithead he normally is. when he woke up, his voice was all sleepy, and. he seemed more pacified. i dunno. it was like he was less awful, without all that usual energy. eventually he went back to normal, though. 

the first thing he said when he woke up was “i hate you, momo-chan. my beloved.”

**——————————— 𝚍𝚊𝚢 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚛𝚝𝚢**

i hate him. hate him! he’s my stars and planets and galaxies, and i hate him so much. i don’t even know how to explain it. i don’t know how to explain hating so much that you love them. 

it just sounds crazy to me. i can’t believe that i can’t stop dreaming about him, can’t stop thinking about him. can’t overlook the way his voice sounds when he calls me his “beloved.” can’t understand why i’m not over him. i voluntarily share a bed with him now, like, what the fuck? oh, and we cuddle too. of fucking course we do. 

i think i’m just so starved for contact because of this stupid game. that’s probably why i fell into this weird routine so quickly. i hate the way he smells, the way he looks when he’s getting dressed in the morning, and the way he sings in the shower like nobody can hear him. i hate how he acts so superior, still. i hate how he calls me momo-chan in the most sing-song voice. 

and i hate how he tastes when he kisses me. 

i still want to kill him. i still want to wrap my hands around his little neck and squeeze until there’s no air left in his lungs. but i also want to kiss him, and stay with him forever, and i can’t bear when he’s off doing something without me. what the fuck kinda person am i for hating someone like this? i can’t tell maki or shuichi or anyone, because everyone else hates ouma (platonically). is that what this is? romantic hatred? hatelove?

whatever the word is, it’s driving me crazy. i can’t bear to have him drive me insane like this any longer, but i also can’t let him leave. i need him. 

**——————————— 𝚢𝚎𝚊𝚛 𝚏𝚒𝚟𝚎**

five years since we were trapped in that awful place. this notebook humors me to read through. i was such an immature asswipe! and so confused about my feelings. i’ll show this to ouma later, i’m sure he’ll enjoy it. and make fun of me for it. 

i don’t think i’ll ever get used to the ring on my finger which marks me as his. or the one on his, marking him as mine. or the way we hold hands in public so shamelessly, the paparazzi taking pictures as we walk by. (and me flipping them off if they mention that shuichi would’ve been a better match for ouma all along.) 

we’d always entertained the idea that we’d get married, if we ever escaped. and we actually did, a few years ago. neither of us really have to uphold a job for money anymore, with everything team danganronpa gave us after we escaped. 

i did finally go to space. and then came home as quickly as possible because i missed him. and he showed me dice, too, but only in pictures. they’d long broken up when he disappeared. 

so the rest of our life now is spent together, i guess? defined by our mutual hatred. we’ve travelled around the world some, and i think we’ll continue to do so. it’s nice being able to walk outside without being bombarded by fans (at least as often). i think we’ll go to paris next. the city of love. or for us, the city of hate. 

i hate him so much. and i love him too. i don’t know which emotion stands out more. just that i need him more than anything else. 

kokichi ouma is an excellent liar. but he sure wasn’t lying when he said we’d be together forever.

**Author's Note:**

> hey!!! i’m new here, i hope you enjoyed that oneshot :^)  
> i plan on uploading more and have a few projects coming up so any feedback is greatly appreciated!! thank you for reading this


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